Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Our wee human, or our wee dancer?

"Blogs are for arseholes" he said, whilst reading a The Dandy annual from 1987. 

This particularly Dandy annual was fuckin' class, it had all his favourites, like "The Jocks and the Geordies" and "Winker Watson". He liked "The Jocks and the Geordies" best. Even though he was 26, and many, many years past the appropriate age for enjoying such material, he loved it all the same. There is something, he mused, wonderfully comforting about the shite that was printed in those days. Kids nowadays are all into shite like fuckin' Ipods and Playstations and all that nonsense. Are they better? Are they better than me? Than I was and am? Happier?

I think not, he chortled, as he put down the book. Blogs are for arseholes, for them to write all the impressive shite that they did when they went on their holidays, or to show their stunningly original ideas about something while Jack Johnson plays in the background and a wee banner saying "Make Trade Fair" flashes on the fucking screen.

Worse is those cunts who write political blogs, where wee twats go on about Sinn Fein being class and not a bunch of arseholes, and how it's really good to be a Unionist who has never liked violence and is always fucking right and how their perfect logic beats the shite out of any argument you have because they did a fucking politics degree at Queens', so youse can all go fuck yourselves.

Yes sir, blogs are for arseholes. And arseholes are for blogs.

The title means fuck all, and has only the most tenuous link to anything that is going on anywhere in the world. I wrote it because I am a sad bastard who likes puns. I thought of "Mexican Stand-offish" too, but I couldn't use it, 'cos I'd no reason to.

Saying that, I'd no reason really to use the title either. I suppose I'm an arsehole as well.

But one who has a Dandy annual from 1987. Not many of you bastards could say that, could youse?
 


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