America!

What a strange place it is.

I'm referring to the United States of America, of course, because, as many a pedant will tell you, America is a continent, and not a country ("and someone from Bwazil is as Amewican as someone fwom Kentucky, you know...").

Well, they can fuck aff, 'cos Paracelsus McBride and I know it as America.

Yep, America is weird. They have weird food- Tina's ma and da brought us back all these chocolate bars and stuff from Florida, and I'd never even heard of them. Sky Bar, there's one, it was full of stuff, like a fried Boost bar (lovely). Wild fucking bad for you. Full of shite. Had really old-looking packaging from the 1980s. It's like that for loads of stuff, like ads on TV. Even the ads showing now look really shite and outdated (the local ones, for car dealers and stuff like that). They wouldn't even be that bad at home.

It's mysterious as fuck, is America. Near the border here it's all trees and forests and wee towns. Everything is different- the accents, the stuff in shops, the language too (big fucking difference, that). Canada seems a wee bit more like home (even here, even though it's French). People seem very in tune with Europe and what happens there. Don't think they do in America. I obviously can't be sure, as this is a load of opinionated shite, but I don't think they do, and that'll do for the while.

Yet, from experience, I know that when it comes to making shrewd generalizations, I am a cretin. Things just seem strange because I am not used to them; and things appear familiar because I am used to them.

Don't listen to a fucking word I said.

Want to go to America this summer though, I'm out of fucking Sky Bars.

Incidentally, the photo has fuck all to do with any of the above, and appears a propos of nothing at all. Look at how much sun cream I have on- I look like a twat. The t-shirt is my favourite t-shirt, by the way. I love that t-shirt.