It's cheap as fuck, and always packed full of people. The ones who own it are from Laos, they are dead on. There's fuck all seats though, and only room for about ten people.
In the queue, this wee fat cunt takes his coat off and sticks it on the back of a chair. Then he puts his briefcase on another chair saving it for his wee girlfriend.
Well I never!
He looked and acted like a twat prior to this, so my worst fears were realised by this craven and selfish act.
What's more, he was patronising to the staff and had a very eager attitude. When it was my turn at the counter, he did a really clumsy, meant-to-be funny gesture to the wee sandwich woman to show her that it was me who was next.
You're an abrasive wee wanker, I bellowed, as I booted him up the hole with my winter boots.
I battered the shite out of him and ate his sandwich.
His ladyfriend looked at me beseechingly, then passionately, then with open and terrible lust in her eyes as I roughly pulled his curly hair and twisted his ear.
"Fuck away off" I said. "You're as fucking bad for encouraging him".
She nodded as if in agreement, and walked out of the shop. Your man followed her about a minute later.
Nobody smiled, or applauded, or even took much notice of what had happened. No-one except the wee sandwich woman.
As she handed me my change at the till, she paused longer than was necessary between drops as she let the coins fall into my upturned, open palm.
"Ca fait longtemps qu'il le mérite, monsieur. Mais c'est mon fils".
I ate my sandwich outside the shop, in the bitter cold, with no gloves on my hands, weeping and sneezing.
It's a terrible world in which we live.
By jingo, you're a wild man when the humour is on ye. Was the sandwich nice>?
ReplyDeleteI was that fucking upset, Denis, that I can;t even remember...
ReplyDeleteOnly joking. It was fucking lovely, ham 'n' cheese.