True Crime

I saw a man booting a woman up the hole today.

I was only joking yesterday about booting your man up the hole. It didn't really happen.

But today I did see a man boot a woman up the hole.

There's this street in Montreal called Rue Ontario, it's a right fucking shitey place. It's down the hill from us.

It is dead poor and run-down looking. All prostitutes and heroin addicts run about on the street. It's not dangerous or anything.

It is a shithole though.

Me, Sarah and Tina were walking about because it's a nice day. I wanted to go to a Polish bakery on the street, further along the street. We were on our way there. I didn't really know where it was, just that it was somewhere along the street.

We were dandering along, wee baby asleep in the pram, and up ahead I saw this man pushing a woman. Tina has shite eyesight, mines is brilliant, so I saw it from really far ahead. I have the eyesight of a hawk.

This wee homeless man was pulling a woman's arm. She was a prostitute, 'cos it was 4 o'clock and she had a short skirt on, and it was still the winter in Montreal even though it was nice. She was definitely a prozzie, like.

He pulled her over the road then booted her up the hole! Swung a good boot and kicked her up the arse, right in the traffic. A police car drove by and did fuck all.

I thought it best that we turn back.

All my writing too about booting a poor wee innocent man up the hole for some imagined transgression...

It's wrong to boot people up the hole, except for self-defence. Poor woman. Even if she did attack the wee homeless man, he shouldn't boot her up the hole. It's a particularly humiliating act of violence.

Like the police car, I went about my business like a good Catholic, ignoring her sore-arsed plight.

I wouldn't get involved in shite like that. It's not worth it. The wee homeless cunt could have stabbed me. The fucker was mad enough to boot a woman up the hole in the middle of traffic. Plus I had a wee baby and wee lady in my charge.

I hope she's OK, the lady. I'm sure she is. I saw her calling him a wanker from the other end of the street when I looked back. Hole bootings, like kneecappings, are usually not too serious. The bootee usually recovers with nothing more than a stiff gait for a few minutes after. They're up on their feet in no time.

The world is full of mad bastards.