Thank the Big Man upstairs

I had to thank the Big Man upstairs today.

Not God, silly! Not today.

(If anybody, anywhere, in my company, uses that phrase in the context of being thankful, well... I'll fucking batter them. With a cricket bat, with the legend "YOU FUCKING ASKED FOR THIS" written on it).

No, I had to thank Jean C., the man who lives above us. He let me use his printer and scanner. He's dead on.

He gave me the nicest cup of coffee I've ever tasted in my life. It was really delicious. We had a good chat. The coffee was unlike any coffee I'd ever had before.

I'm still thinking about it. I might invent spurious reasons to go up to his now, just to drink his coffee.

It was that good.

There's me drinking shite coffee every day, and then I have this.

I don't want to overdo it, because then it might not be as special. I did that with tapioca pudding, recently. I no longer like it as violently. I ate too much one day and got sickened. I don't want to do that with Jean's coffee.

I always do that. I got sickened off smoked meat sandwiches. I can't look at them now, not in the same way, not like before. I'd still eat one, but less joyfully.

But you know what? I never fucking loved smoked meat anyway, not really! 

Fuck you, smoked meat. 

You big bastard.

You're not like The Best Foods. Not like curry chips, or indian food, or weetabix, or onions, or bananas, or fish. Or all cheese. Or apple pie.

I can eat them all day, all in the same meal, and they are the best. They never make me not like them.

Perhaps that's the test, to get into my special The Best Foods club. 

So fuck it. I'll drink that delicious coffee as much as I'm allowed.

If, at the end, that wonderful coffee is still with me, then it can enter the pantheon of the The Best Foods, smiling down on me, in my head, for ever and ever.

If not, I will drink it anyway, out of politeness and the hope that it can once again be so good.

If you're wondering about the photo, I took that. He has a pet elephant called McKibben, and we took it for a run in the park. That's him cooling off in the wee lake in the park. 

Parp! Parp! Parp!