The Troubles

Today was class. It rained for the morning, then it was nice. 

It didn't get dark until about 7. The day felt really long.

We went for a big long walk and found a new Italian place. It was odd, because it was in the area where we live, and it was an Italian place like you'd find in an Italian neighbourhood, in Montreal anyways.

It had all Italian food, and Italian people. Wee men sitting about talking shite and wearing cool clothes, looking at funny things on their iPhones. And talking loudly.

All this, right here in the middle of a place where you wouldn't expect to find it.

Without wanting to sound like a boring sociology cunt (yet failing), Montreal is full of all wee ethnic neighbourhoods. It still is, after all these years, and is all the better for it.

So seeing this wee Italian shop, with real Montreal Italians outside of their natural home, was good. Here where we live is almost entirely Quebecois or French, or annoying wankers from Ontario who go to McGill. Or me, the best, sweetest and kindest human being who ever drew breath on this earth.

Anyhow, I bought a load of lovely shite like octopus, wee sweets, pasta and biscuits, and it was class. We minded McKibben, the young elephant from upstairs, and he was as placid as fuck.

He's a good elephant. He did a huge shite outside the front step of the shop, and I had to clean it up with a shovel. I put the shite in a builder's skip in an alley round the corner.

If you're wondering, I don't even use a lead for him, he's that well trained.

Elephants should eat grass and trees and things, in nature. McKibben is a fucking dirty brute, he's really obese. Jean C. feeds him all kinds of shite, like crisps, kit-kats, burgers and oven chips. I was sick three times shoveling his shite into the skip. I didn't mind, though. He's a thoughtful and sweet young animal. Sarah likes him.

Tomorrow we are going to see Shutter Island, I can't fucking wait. I'm going to smuggle in sweets bought outside the cinema. I'm telling you now. Everyone should do that. Sweets in the cinema are too dear. If they tell you no, tell them to go fuck themselves.

McKibben is coming with me to watch Man Utd. vs Liverpool at a pub tomorrow morning at half-past nine. I hope they let Elephants in. 

He'll go fucking mental if he has to wait outside.