Terrific Fun

I saw a massive black beetle about 25 minutes ago.

I was walking through the park, and by the baseball field he caught my eye.

Huge big cunt, just creeping about. It certainly made my night. He looked too big to be just walking around. Maybe he didn't belong here. He might have escaped from someone's house, they were maybe keeping him as a pet.

I wouldn't.

Why would you?

Dogs are the best pets. They're like nicer people, better than people, simpler. Big dogs especially. Wee ones are cunts. They have a tendency to yap, gurn and be excitable.

Who wants that?

I'd rather have a beetle than a wee dog. If I got bored of the beetle, I'd let him go. I'd feel worse doing that to the dog. A bit guilty, because society obliges you to be nice to dogs and treat them well.

I couldn't be arsed with dogs. Sarah likes them though. She fucking loves them.

Some woman was going past with her toddler, walking beside her, and Sarah wanted to see the baby, so I hunkered down with her and showed her the baby, up close.

I gave the woman a stern, yet kind, look, demonstrating that I was showing my daughter her baby, whether she fucking liked it or not.

Chuckling, I said "Elle adore des petits enfants... et des chiens!"

I didn't realise, 'til well after, that she may have construed it as a wee jibe at her wean, implying I wasn't sure if her baby was a human or a canine.

It was a human baby, though.

I asked a priest once in primary school whether dogs and cats and insects have Jesus and the chance at redemption like we do. I can't remember his answer.

Why are we so fucking special?

It is great being a human though. I went to the zoo when I was home, and those cunts are not half as lucky as we are.

I'm reading these books by George Pelecanos, set in Washington DC, and the characters invariably eat a dish called a half-smoke. I fucking want one. I'll go all the way down there if I have to. He describes it so nice in the books.

I think it's a kind of sausage.