Er, hi...
It's me. You remember me? It's the NCWC. Remember? I dressed up as AIDS that time for Halloween. Yes... Quite.
So, I'm sorry. I've been a little... neglectful. I've let things go. I've been a lazy cunt. I've been on hiatus. I've been on holiday. I've been in jail.
That's not true. I wasn't in jail. Or on holiday. But I've been busy! Oh, dear me, I've been busy.
But that's neither interesting nor very important.
What is important is that I have decided what I want for Christmas. And also what I want between now and Christmas. This is the most important thing, I think, that has ever been stated. Much more important than some shitey election in America, or some cunt putting a bomb on a plane, or Wayne Rooney.
I would like, both for Christmas and before Christmas, in no order of importance:
- A book token
- Indian food
- To go to a nice restaurant
- A DVD
- Wine
- New trainers
- Crisps
- Diet coke
- A pipe
- A hat
- A jacket
- Some books
- An air-rifle
- To go to the cinema
- A Christmas Party
This is the most important thing in the world. We can then sit at the right-hand side of the Lord and be dead good and the best.
It's not a lot to ask?
And so it goes.
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
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It's about time the wee fella got what he wanted from Santie. Too many years he's been getting bags of soot! You should ask for magic dust too and a Xmas video message from The Grand Earl Sean Higgins of Baronscourt.
ReplyDeleteSomeone dressed up as AIDS in manchester this year and caused uproar in the gay community! Seriously...what sort of a society doesn't allow a man to dress up as his favourite fatal disease. I dressed up as a syphilitic penis but people kept getting me confused with Kofi Anan.