The Power and the Glory

Er, hi...

It's me. You remember me? It's the NCWC. Remember? I dressed up as AIDS that time for Halloween. Yes... Quite.

So, I'm sorry. I've been a little... neglectful. I've let things go. I've been a lazy cunt. I've been on hiatus. I've been on holiday. I've been in jail.

That's not true. I wasn't in jail. Or on holiday. But I've been busy! Oh, dear me, I've been busy.

But that's neither interesting nor very important.

What is important is that I have decided what I want for Christmas. And also what I want between now and Christmas. This is the most important thing, I think, that has ever been stated. Much more important than some shitey election in America, or some cunt putting a bomb on a plane, or Wayne Rooney.

I would like, both for Christmas and before Christmas, in no order of importance:

- A book token
- Indian food
- To go to a nice restaurant
- A DVD
- Wine
- New trainers
- Crisps
- Diet coke
- A pipe
- A hat
- A jacket
- Some books
- An air-rifle
- To go to the cinema
- A Christmas Party

This is the most important thing in the world. We can then sit at the right-hand side of the Lord and be dead good and the best.

It's not a lot to ask?

And so it goes.